The New York Times recently published an article about marriage that posits the union which inspires growth in the individual partners is most sustainable. The one where the individual is minimized for the good of the relationship or the family - think the in-laws on Everybody Loves Raymond - is the least so.
The article even contains a quiz for you to measure your growthiness.
Curiosity and an open mind keep Jack and I motivated to grow and to experience the depth and breadth of all God sets before us. Finding humor in just about anything helps us do it without fear and regret (I hope).
In Marriage: A History, or How Love Conquered Marriage, Stephanie Coontz explains that this model of marriage, where the individual's needs and desires trump all else, is a completely new phenomenon and no one knows what will happen because of it. For centuries - millennia - marriage was a social and economic institution designed to maintain very defined social stratification systems and to control the flow of wealth.
A world where love leads to marriage is wonderful, but possibly dangerous for the framework of society, Coontz argues. And this may not be a bad thing.
To me, marriages full of growth and expansion are a means of spreading love. With every new idea, every epiphany, we lift those around us. Every individual's advancement elevates the whole. Maybe the system will crack a bit. I hope it does. It will be nice to let some light in.
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